Why Networking Shouldn’t Feel Like Networking

When we think of networking, we instantly think about business cards, conferences and Linkedin connections. Those are all great tools; however, true networking starts and continues with trust. We have talked about building one's personal brand, and how personal credibility is a pivotal aspect of that.

The strongest professional relationships begin long before someone needs something.

Networking isn't a skill. It's the result of consistently being curious about people. The best conversations rarely begin with: "What do you do and what is your title?" They begin with genuine interest.

 In our last article, we explored the role of Pathos in building our personal brand. When it comes to networking, I think we also need to consider Ethos.

Three things I think about when it comes to networking are: Lead with curiosity, give before you need, and continuous connection.

Leading with Curiosity

When we lead with curiosity, rather than chasing a title, we humanize the connection. The conversation becomes interpersonal rather than transactional, allowing both people to simply get to know one another.

Curiosity also helps us move beyond assumptions. It's easy to look at someone's title, company, or stage in their career and decide how valuable that connection might be.

The reality is that we never truly know where a conversation may lead. Sometimes the most meaningful relationships are built with the people we least expect.

I was reminded of this recently during a conversation with someone I had never met before. We started talking about everything from our values and life experiences to what motivates us and what makes us happy.

Along the way, I realized neither of us were trying to impress the other. We were simply curious. 

Looking back, I don't remember the conversation because of anyone's job title. I remember it because we were genuinely curious about one another. The conversation felt intentional, and by the end of it, there was already a level of trust beginning to form. 

Credibility isn't only built by what we know. It's also built by how we make other people feel. When someone walks away feeling heard, respected, and valued, we've communicated something about our character long before we've communicated our qualifications.

Curiosity creates connection, and connection is what meaningful networking is really built on.

Give Before You Ask

We have all had someone in our lives who tends to reach out only when they need something. While there's nothing wrong with asking for help, relationships that exist only in moments of want and need can begin to feel one-sided.

Meaningful networking works the opposite way.

It isn't built on keeping score or expecting something in return. It's built by investing in people before there's an opportunity to gain anything from the relationship.

Sometimes giving isn't about providing a resource at all. It can be giving someone your time, your attention, or the opportunity to feel heard. 

In our last discussion, we talked about the importance of active listening. Listening may be one of the most valuable things we can give another person.

It costs us nothing, yet it has the ability to strengthen trust and deepen relationships in ways we often underestimate. 

Continuous Conversation

Relationships don't end when the event is over, business cards are exchanged, or LinkedIn requests are accepted.

Staying connected doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes it's sending a quick message to congratulate someone on a promotion, wishing them a happy birthday, checking in after they mentioned a big life event, or simply asking how they're doing.

These moments may seem small, but over time they communicate something important: I remembered you.

Networking isn't about collecting the most business cards, connections, or followers. It's about building relationships driven in curiosity, generosity, and consistency.

The strongest networks aren't built because people feel obligated to help us. They're built because people remember how we made them feel.

Who is someone you haven't checked in with recently?